apache rose peacock?!

My way with words is on it's way to a full recovery. :)

This song is [obviously] still in the works, and I haven't decided if I like it or not. 

if I still prayed I'd be thinking of you

if I still thought I'd be praying in your footsteps 

in a world of rhyme schemes and chalkboard-numbers 

indefinable's not one of a kind

take time to wonder

but please don't  mind

fill up my inbox when I'm gone

this gypsy life gets me every time 

and you can leave the girl who loves me

back in Carolina, but it's getting stronger

weeks can't get much longer

back and forth and inside-out

but everything's the same

alike, alone, inane 

please try a little harder 

to comprehend my lingo

I know it's a little out there

but I'll trace it in the snow

and if I slip a love note

into your trench-coat pocket

it's because your on my mind

and I don't know how to show

you everything I mean

when I say I love you too

I'm pinning scrap paper to my walls

in hopes of you

if you have to ask

Blood Sugar Sex Magik by the Red Hot Chili Peppers is an amazing album, and I'd think so no matter how I obtained it. Anyone who likes psychedelic rock, funk, or alternative needs to listen to it. In fact, even if you don't listen to any of those, check it out anyways. 

Lately I've been having a horrible case of writer's block.

Symptoms:

inability to write anything even remotely original

inability to rhyme adequately 

inability to think up any good melodies or rhythms.

Swine flu?

And of course all of this is accompanied by an  intense desire to write.  Woohoo!

In other news, there is a receipt hanging on my wall, I want to learn drums so badly that I'm kind of dying, and my uncle gave me a camera!

I love it, and I'm already taking a ton of pictures, but I can't find the stupid unloader thingy... >< 

i'm too creepy for my own good.

I follow blogs of people I don't know.
Go me.
(I figured it was creepier to just stalk them regularly.)

it doesn't mean you ain't been on my mind

This week has been weird. 

But mildly amazing.

Sunday: EYC pool party. A great deal of fepic fun, all in the Granger's salty pool!

Monday: Cleaning, schoolwork, and missing you.

Tuesday: Shopping with Allie, Haleigh, and DAVID. We are a force to be feared. We have plans. And Upscalators. 

Wednesday: Same as Monday, but Summer came over around ten, and we talked for ages and she payed me 30 bucks to do some artsy odd jobs for her. Then I stayed up until one in the morning talking to people. Your parting comment was one of the best I've ever heard/read in my life.

Thursday: I'm leaving for THEA in about an hour. Eek. :)

"In fact, I'm pretty sure."

Molly took the What is the First Letter of the Person Who Secretly Loves You?quiz and got the result: M..
M: The name of the person who lovesy to sweep yo you will start with the letter M. He/She will treat you like royalty. They have the right personality that will know you off your feet and leave you feeling breathless. 

Possible names: Mark, Michael, Michelle, Melissa

this one needs a disclaimer

This song... I'm really not sure about it.
I'm currently rearranging my thoughts on god.
You can most likely tell that from the lyrics.
It's not really about god, though.

It's just a really big analogy.
For... I don't know.
It's not knocking on god. That is all. =P

I need to shout

into the holy darkness

I need to pray

to a god who isn't there

and every Sunday

I go searching for a savior

but love is my messiah

and no one seems to care.

So I'll stay awake

with him when he's in the garden

and I'll wait three days

without saying the word

I'll sing empty praises

until I find the answer

I'm reciting my lines

but none of it is heard.

it's all so right

when we're sitting in the silence

I can close my eyes

and I like what I see

I don't know

if you really think I'm beautiful

but I really think

that you're pretty damn convincing.

I was never one

to believe unless I saw it

I was always one

to look before I leap

I couldn't believe

in god or love or anything

but then I saw you

I guess love believed in me.

I'm still holding on 

to fragments of what I started

I need to compose

all my thoughts into a song

but there's something strange

that I see in my reflection

there is something there

I ain't seen since she's been gone.

it's all so right

when we're sitting in the silence

I can close my eyes

and I like what I see

I don't know

if you really think I'm beautiful

but I really think

that you're pretty damn convincing.

Somewhere along those lines

I see it lurking in the alleys

or the corners of his eyes

or the shadows of her mind

but it's the liquid love

that is pumping with each heartbeat

and I can't shake the feeling

I ought to see it all the time.

and now looking back

I never felt a presence

like the feel of his breath

on the back of my neck

or the flattened grass

where we have been dancing

I guess I was just dreaming

your new love is too high tech.

it's all so right

when we're sitting in the silence

I can close my eyes

and I like what I see

I don't know

if you really think I'm beautiful

but I really think

that you're pretty damn convincing.

it's all so right

when we're sitting in the silence

I can close my eyes

and I like what I see

I don't know

if you really think I'm beautiful

but I really think

that you're pretty damn convincing.

i've already got friday on my mind

RULES: 1.Put your iPod... or iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW CRAZY IT SOUNDS.


IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Why can't we be friends?

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Hungry heart.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
All I want is you. (that... is kind of adorable.)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Desolation row.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Part of your world. (Again with the adorable.)

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Walking in Memphis.

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Your sweetest mistake. :)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Don't Forget Me.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Something. (Hah. you know it.)

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Help! (lol, dyslexia.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Crush on you. (absolutely.)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Turn the page.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Minor thing. (No!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
I could die for you (...yikes :P)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Because.

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
100 years. (lol.)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Out in the street.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Werewolves of London...! :D

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Leave me alone (I'm lonely) ...aw.

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Midnight.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
From me to you.

My Name Is... Layla.

i miss the sound of your voice

loudest thing in my head

and I ache to remember

all the violent, sweet, prefect words that you said.

I rarely like modern music, but I really love this guy's voice.

it's not like i'm repeating myself or anything

After all that

and you'd still take me back?

What impeccable love 

could this be?

but I turn away

fuck the world

keeping my middle finger

ever handy

you know I still believe

teach yourself to say no, children

and impromptu plans

might edge out of your life

unwelcome summer loving

unconsensual romance

is really quite the ride

but there's no need to oblige 

ruining your psyche was her opus

despite everyone's denying lies

you fell in love with a shadow

a shallow medley of a person

who's everything I despise

but looking back, that was me

that was always me standing there

I never guessed you'd care

back through the looking glass again

vicious cycles with no end

you're the one that I'm proud

to still call my friend

After all that

and you'd still take me back?

What impeccable love 

could this be?

but I turn away

fuck the world

keeping my middle finger

ever handy

you know I still believe

teach yourself to say no, children

and impromptu plans

might edge out of your life

unwelcome summer loving

unconsensual romance

is really quite the ride

but there's no need to oblige 

bonding as bookworms with stagefright

and humid summer nights

I still remember the day

you kissed me goodbye

forever

little did you know

I was biding time

there's constantly the other

who takes the limelight from your eyes

of how it was before

I think this one might actually be goin' somewhere.

I'll attempt to finish it tonight.

Yay me!

I like it. It's indie as hell, particularly once you hear it sung.

I like indie music, but I write more of my music with a more soft rock, 

Eagles and early U2 feel,
(maybe a bit of RHCP influence, listen to the album By the Way...)
and it then it gets indie-afied by the lovely Johanna. :)

Okay, so yeah, here goes...

Kings and queens and answer keys,

trend-setter wannabes,

everyone but you is looking back at me.

Unless I'm in your arms,

there's some place I'd rather be.

I can't get you off my mind,

I can't stand these painful weeks,

I just need to hit rewind.

I guess I'll talk to you online.

I miss you but I'll be fine.

And I think I love you.

It's more than a thought

it's a feeling deep inside of me

maybe if I say it out loud

it'll make it true.

but I can't get the courage

to just look you in the eye

and say 3, 2, 1, boy, I think I love you.

You can't kiss and make up,

when you weren't mad in the first place.

But you can kiss me anyway, 

I think that that would be okay.

There is nothing left to say

except I think I love you.

It's more than a thought

it's a feeling deep inside of me

maybe if I say it out loud

it'll make it true.

but I can't get the courage

to just look you in the eye

and say 3, 2, 1, boy, I think I love you.

I guess it's called hoping for you.

I've been writing parts of songs and not finishing them lately.

Bad Molly, bad...

I'm  hoping to actually complete this one.

We shall see.

I'm not positive it's any good, but I rarely am.

So that doesn't really mean anything.

Anywho, read on...

And I

watched the lightning shake the sky

no matter how hard I wish

you're not by my side

I'm craving the touch of someone

at this point anyone will do

but I'm hoping for you.

The pale summer rain 

can't touch me

you're all that keeps me sane

but you can't love me

I guess I'm the kind of girl 

who wants to see things through

'cause I'm still hoping for you.

In the end, someone loses, someone wins.

Your worst enemies might be your best friends.

We can't know who misses out

when they say goodbye.

Echoes of laughter fill my ears

remember joy, retrace your tears

I remember what it's like

to have nothing left to lose.

But I kept hoping for you. 

Five things to make me smile today.

1. My mom bought me an Oreo Milkshake from The Loop.
2. http://www.mylifeisg.com/
3. Billy Joel.
4. The 22nd of June is 14 days away. that's right, count 'em.
5. The fact that I didn't have to struggle to think of things for this list.
6. The fact that I'm now adding more numbers because I keep thinking of more things.
7. The fact that Pippa's coming back soon.
8. Sister Golden Hair by America.
9. My wall-to-wall with my boyfriend.
10. My wall-to-wall with my best friend.

Listening: She Came in Through the Bathroom Window, The Beatles. Pride (In the Name of Love), U2. Play that Funky Music, Wild Cherry.

way upon the mountain where she died

I got dosed by you and 

Closer than most to you and 

What am I supposed to do 

Take it away I never had it anyway 

Take it away and everything will be okay 

In you a star is born and 

You cut a perfect form and 

Someone forever warm 

Lay on lay on lay on lay on 

Lay on lay on lay on lay on

(dosed, the red hot chili peppers.) 

The Red Hot Chili Peppers always inspire me to write music...

Just going through the motions

week after week and day after day

memories of emotions 

weekend to weekend 'til it fades away

but wait, slow down

it can't all end so quickly

when it just started

why hide from the storm

when you could kiss in the rain?

Then Monday rolls around again

and it's back to the mundane 

but there's the thought of shining hours

that keep you sane.

Acid rain on the hood of my car

can't seem to accelerate

but we're getting so far

living weekend to weekend is how we do it

gotta savor every moment or you might not get through it.

(This was in my notebook. I think I wrote it during church.)

Speaking of things I wrote during church:

What I am going to name my first-born son:

Obama The President Of The United States God Mom Garrett Stein-Seroussi Jesus Christ (Superstar) Chuck-Norris Jackie Chan Jack Sparrow Tyler Hansborough The Kid From Second Hand Lions Whose Name I Can't Recall David Oglesby Harry Potter McDonough the third.

What I am going to name my second-born son:

Eric Clapton Janis Joplin Bruce Springsteen Rhinanna feat. Jay-Z Kid who's sitting in the pew in front of me and has dinosaurs on his shirt and overalls I'm on a boat Ziggy Marley Pippa Adam Billy Joel t-shirt from Hot Topic that I never found, darnit, Micheal Pass Sister golden Hair by America (god, I love that song) fmylife.com facebook McDonough Jr.

...it's very, very, VERY possible that Alaina and I should pay more attention to the service in the future... 

All the same old cliches, is it woman, is it man?

Kings and queens and answer keys,

trend-setter wannabes,

everyone but you is looking back at me.

Unless I'm in your arms,

there's some place I'd rather be.

I can't get you off my mind,

I can't stand these painful weeks,

I just need to hit rewind.

I guess I'll talk to you online.

I miss you but I'll be fine.

And I think I love you.

She wanted to start their new life with a college degree.

A few days ago (Wednesday, maybe?) I wrote... uhm... something.

I guess one could call it an epic poem with a tune.

Or a song with no verses and no chorus.

And one weird rhyme scheme.

(Not that that's anything new in my songs.)

I... seriously don't know what the heck it is.

Anyways.

I'm contemplating posting it...

But I probably won't.

The problem is, it's... just not very good.

I like the idea behind it just fine, but it's not that great.

Ponder...

Listening: You may be Right, Billy Joel. Yellow Submarine, The Beatles. 

I think we've got something here...

Johanna recorded "Sweetest Mistake."

And I'm a little bit in love with it. :)

http://polaroidpictures.tumblr.com/

Into repeat, and it's getting old.

Not a check yes or no kind of love
not watered down or suitable for children
Head in the clouds, one foot on the ground
I can't concentrate on work when my world's spinning 'round

Skeletons in your closet are fine
as long as you don't let clinking bones
keep you awake at night
and you can't waste your time waiting for a sign
when you could just make your own.

I can't break through to you
when you're speaking in
binary code, exes and oh's
and the marks on your palms
even they can't define
what he means when he says
what's he's feeling inside
don't bother writing it down
you'll never capture the sound
and pictures fade
it's much too cliche
but it's true
only love can stay the same.

Kindly fuck off, this is tougher than it seems

you're about to hit the road again, guess I'll see you in my dreams

the morning after, I refuse to file regrets

Polaroid pictures insure I'll never forget

Slap a name tag on each feeling

hello, my name is love

even though he's the only one

envy is a loaded gun

you're looking down the barrel

all I ever asked for was a broken heart

you can't seem to deliver 

should've seen it from the start

I can't break through to you
when you're speaking in
binary code, exes and oh's
and the marks on your palms
even they can't define
what he means when he says
what's he's feeling inside
don't bother writing it down
you'll never capture the sound
and pictures fade
it's much too cliche
but it's true
only love can stay the same.

I took the Polaroid down from my room, I'm pretty sure you have a new girlfriend.

It's not as if I don't like you

it just makes me sad whenever I see it

'cause I like to be gone most of the time

And you like to be home most of the time

If I stay in one place I lose my mind

I'm a pretty impossible lady to be with

I sent "Sweetest Mistake" to David because he somehow talked me into it.

He told me I'm a good writer, and also that his brother is really good at writing music, and we should collaborate. He also suggested that I take the word "ridiculously" out of the song, but that's there for a reason. :)

I don't really want this blog to turn into one big rant about how happy I am.

Today I wrote a list of things I want. 

• Some french fries. 
• My schoolwork to do itself.
• Friday. 
• Aerosmith tickets. (zz tops is opening. PLEASE GOD.)
• My boyfriend. (This goes with number two, but I thought it deserves it's own bullet point.)
• Pippa to come back.
• Pippa to STAY back.
• Everything to stay this wonderful forever.
  

None of this happened. =P

Maxwell plays the fool again

New song. Old one failed. =P

Not a check yes or no kind of love
not watered down or suitable for children
Head in the clouds, one foot on the ground
I can't concentrate on work when my world's spinning 'round

Skeletons in your closet are fine
as long as you don't let clinking bones
keep you awake at night
and you can't waste your time waiting for a sign
when you could just make your own.

I can't break through to you
when you're speaking in
binary code, exes and oh's
and the marks on your palms
even they can't define
what he means when he says
what's he's feeling inside
don't bother writing it down
you'll never capture the sound
and pictures fade
it's much too cliche
but it's true
only love can stay the same.


Listening: New Years Day, U2, Maxwell's Silver Hammer, The Beatles.

She can take the subway back to the ghetto tonight.

Yesterday was my church's picnic.
My group (which consists of most of the younger teens) wanted to go find a shady place to sit (out of earshot of the adults) so we found a pine tree WAY across the field to sit under. We played the chore game, argued a bit about whether or not being gay was a choice (the fact that I had a gay person on my side of the argument helped considerably) planned a trip to California in a yellow 1965 ford mustang convertible (I'm providing the car, Deborah's in charge of the Oreos and gas money), and talked about religion a little.
And then one of the girls looked at me and said "Molly, I've been looking at your pictures on facebook, and it seems like you have a perfect life."
I laughed. "Why?"
"Because you hang out with a bunch of very cool looking people at Weaver street weekly, and that's, like, my favorite place in the world."
"Yeah, we're there every Friday. It's fun. And they are really cool. Amazing, even."
"You're really lucky."
A year ago I would've rolled my eyes and said something along the lines of "you don't know my life" in my head.
Six months ago I would've laughed and told her I just don't take pictures when I'm unhappy.
Three months ago I would've shrugged and not said anything at all.
But it's not then, it's now.
"Yeah, pretty much the luckiest person in the world."

I don't know why I felt like sharing that. But I did.

Well I've got some beer and the highway's free,
and I've got you and baby you've got me.
Hey hey hey, what do you say, Sherry darlin'?
Hey hey hey, what do you say, Sherry darlin'?
Woah-oh-oh
Hey hey hey, what do you say, Sherry darlin'?

Listening: Peaceful Easy Feeling, the Eagles, With or Without You, U2.