Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I know these scars will heal

but I pray they never fade
'cause I need a reminder of the mistakes I have made

All my life I've been good at making myself bleed.
I don't really sleep anymore. There's too much on my mind.
He makes me happy and life makes me sad, and sometimes I still can't forgive myself for mistakes I made over a year ago. "Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it." I've learned more than I can handle. I've learned that the world is prettier when I'm not wearing glasses. I've learned that I'd rather someone leave me than have to live with the knowledge that I left someone else. I've learned who my friends are, and I've learned that the only reason I can't hurt myself anymore is because when I do, it hurts people who love me.
I've learned that I feel self-obsessed when I write things like this, but I need to get it out of my brain somehow.
I spend a lot of time waiting on him.
That's okay by me.
People are stupid, and I am a person too.

I always told myself I'd never stop creating.
My camera broke, I can't take pictures.
My heart broke, I can't write songs.
This isn't art, this is my brain.

Yeah, hi.

I'm back from my blogging hiatus.
Because I have my own computer now.
So it's not a pain to deal with anymore.

Life updates:
The boy I used to write love songs about broke up with me.
I have a new boyfriend. I'm not in love with him. But I do like him a lot.

I have a vision for what this blog is going to become. Take three. Let's do this thing.