A smiley face represents all of my mistakes

This is just me talking to myself. You don't have to read it all if you don't want to, it's probably unimportant.

So maybe looking back in time was a bad idea.
I'd forgotten, moved on, or I'd made myself forget.
The latter seems the most likely.
I have about a million ideas swirling around in my head, but I don't know how to make them into poetry.
I don't hate myself, I hate the person I was before.
Before what? Before I knew [her], loved [him], grew up?
The time seemed longer in my mind, but looking back I saw I only gave him six days. It felt like a month, maybe three weeks, two at the LEAST, but nope, six days.
And now I remember that day, six days later. He refused to make eye-contact with me. Instead of sitting with one chair in-between us, he left three. He wouldn't go into improv if I was already there. And this confused me so badly that I didn't notice any of the new kids. I had my orange whistle, yellow tee shirt, and heartbroken twin. I was ready to forget him, both of them, and go flirt with the blond boy I'd met two summers back.
And I had, I forgot both of them, and successfully ignored any potential new friends until three things happened in one night.

1. [she] told me by the water fountain that he still 'loved' me,
2. I saw that [guy] again and remembered all I'd forced myself to forget,
3. [she] came with us to Elmo's, and I suddenly realized that she was a rather cool person.

Somewhere in those two months I became a MUCH better person. Dunno when it was, or why, or whatever. But it's all good...